First real post. Get drooling boys this one's hot.

Oh man my jaw is squeaking and I don't know why, I think there is a gnome in there operating some sort of winch. Anyway it’s hella annoying.

I went to Aren’t We Naughty today to get a gag gift for a friend, it was fascinating. I was the only person under 45 in there. Old people aren’t allowed to have sex! Especially not with the 2 foot long jumbo-sized jet-black elephant dildo. Later a woman (about 60) bought a set of nipple clamps.
I think it was the first time in my life that I actually said yowza. My eyes went all googley too.
I wonder if maybe she thought it was for self-defense, or maybe some new fangled contraption for baking cookies.

Don't anybody say a word. I love reveling in my ignorance. It could be traumatizing to think of what a grandma would do with nipple clamps. I'm going to avoid that thought at all costs. Even if it involves bending reality just a smidge.

It's been a dish. Cheers.